so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
