In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize