I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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