The brown eye won't let me do that either.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
