How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize