Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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