What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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