..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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