she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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