It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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