when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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