We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
ttyl tear gas
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
