walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i dont even know how to be here
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
