I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
