You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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