Having a random hookup so left but love u
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
