She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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