Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
