I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
