isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
