called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
