just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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