It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize