peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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