youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize