what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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