i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?