Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he thought i was a dude.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.