i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.