I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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