ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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