Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize