Don't make out with my wife yet
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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