Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
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