i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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