Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
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