he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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