I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
