Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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