i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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