Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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