Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
