the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's rum buckets o'clock
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
