Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
