i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
