grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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