You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
