Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
