i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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