i just wanna soil my oats bro
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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