Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm sobbing to NWA
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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