you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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