Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
