who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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