I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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