I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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