i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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