the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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