Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
