we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
