idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize